Its Harder Than I Thought

I dont know what happen to me,to us. Its not like what we used to be. We fight oftenly. And we both hate that. We both know it. Its just,we fight for small things.We fight and we love. And all the same thing for this whole times. Im tired of crying for stupid things. Im tired of saying sorry. And you too,I know. Dont deny it. I tried to avoid it,but yeahh like i said,it keeps coming in between when it have the chance. Why? Why is this happening?

Could you tell I was hurt? No. You dont. I cant easily forgive and forget. Especially comes about forgetting. No,thats not me. Since before,i remembered every single thing and person that hurts me so badly in my heart. I dont what will happen to us. I really dont know. Hope nothing bad will. I was soo hurt. But I dont want to loose you. Dont say that you're not good of taking care of me,cause for me you're the best. The best among all:')

I love you. And you know it. Stay with me,no matter what will happen. We have to stick to each other til the very end. You're the soul to my mate:) I love youu. 

Wishes

HAPPY 4TH MONTHS 

ANNIVERSARRY

22th October 2011

Demokk! I Love You:) Soooooo Much! Mwehehehe :D I love you I love and I love youuu. And ofcourse I missed you badly. We should have gone out today and celebrating it together. But yeahh,we're far apart. Its hard for me,this first time celebrating monthly anniversarry without you,without seeing you in front of me :/ Haihhh. Sgt sedihhh tauu. By the way,saye harap awak sihat alhamdulillah kat sane,and ceria seperti selalu. No more sad sad kay :) You have to be strong so that I can be strong as well as you know that you are my inner strength :D On this date again,I MAKE A PROMISE that I will always love you,with all my heart. I will never ever leave you alone in the dark. I will always be there in happiness and hardship for you. I will always makes you happy and put a smile on your face,make you laugh :')

Saye tahuu,wlaupun awk pretend yg awk kuat,awk happy,tapi inside? Awak sedih,remembering me,every step that you take in polijb there is always our memories. But you have to be strong. So I can. You smiled in the outside but in the inside,theres sorrow and sadness. Just remember,I will always love you,no one can ever replace your place in my heart. Saye akan cube utk jage relationship yg kite build ni kay:) Be Happy my dear!

On this day,we may be far apart,but close your eyes..I was there..just right there..in your heart :') Happy 4th Months Anniversarry Amirul Asyraf :D ILOVEYOU IMISSYOU..SOOOO BADLY!

Biyy,missed youu already. Baru sehari berpisah :/ oh godd.. Im sooo sad right now. Besar betul ujian yg kite kne tempuhi. Dah stay dekat but now kne jauh pulak. Ohhh god! Cant believe soon I'll be studying in Uitm Seri Iskandar Ipoh. Daftar 16 Nivember ni nanti. And awakk,pindah dari polijb to poli shah alam. Biyy,im so sorry. I really am. Syg tahu b tak boleh stay sane. B tak tahan. Yeahh a good decision jugak b pindah shah alam. Atleast b tak ingat syg sgt kaaan. Dgan memories kite kat sane. Syg tahu b akan terseksa kalau b stay sane. God,I love you so much Biyy. I really am. Alot and alot. Nothing can describe how i felt towards you. I cant say it what i really meant,cant show it cant nothing.. But you can feel my love right? :') I know you do,like i felt your love all this time. I know kite baru lagi in our relationship,but what i felt,is unexplainable. I really love you so much. Im sorry i made you cried by leaving youuu :') but you know right,theres nothing i could do. I never leave you,i never did. I was there with youu,just right there..in your heart.

B,syg janji dgan b. Theres no one could take your place in my heart. I promise you honey. You may be not here close with right now,but im sure you will be in my future. Kite kejar cite-cite kite dulu kayy:) Mwuah baby I love youu muchoooo!

p/s: be strong Biyy,then I will. You're the reason I am strong..you were my everything busukk:) God,give us the strength to face this love that we have in our heart.

Its Written

Im Sorry. For evrything. I didnt mean to make you hurt. I didnt mean to leave you. I didnt mean to make you cry. As even myself is in broken hearted. I dont want this to happen either. I am truly sorry Biyy :'/ Syg minta maaf. Syg pun tak tahu nk buat ape dah. Sayang dah penat,penat sangat mengeluarkan air mata. Sayang tahu Biyy jugak mcm tu. 


Uitm Seri Iskandar,yeahh my new journey of life. Thats where I'll be going soon. Its about first semester holidays. In 14th November. And I have to be in Uitm in 16thNovember. I have no holidays. Yeahh Wataffak! With my parents yang tak faham what I want. Damn It! I really dont know what to do right now but just let the teardrops fall on my face. I have no idea what in da hell I should do. Am I doing the right decision by going? Leaving you alone here? How bad am I right? Gosssssshhhhh :'/ 


Swear to god,I cant face this thing! Sorry :/ for letting you cried just because of me. I love you,truly I do :') and I just cant help it. You want me to go..you think about my future..you let yourself hurt. How could you. I know deep inside your heart you never want me to go. I know,I met you for a reason. A good reason. Eventhough we'll be far apart,you're always and will remained in my heart. I believe in you like you believe in me,by letting me go there,letting my dreams come true and future to be bright.


I promise you,We'll stay together til the end. Til the very end. Iloveyou :')

Promise me. That's all I want. Just a promise that you'll never forget me. Tell me I changed you somehow,let me know that I had an impact on your life,promise me that you'll always remember me. Losing you was hard enough,but I don't want to go on knowing I meant absolutely nothing to you.

Could you tell that I was hurt? Invisible tears got me feeling like a dirt.

Happy Eids Mubarak To All Bloggers & Stalkers!

From: Syamira & Amirul Asyraf.


Have the best eidssss:)

Okayyy,life kat sini challenging gilaaa,byk gilaa assgnment kene submit. Damnnn! Polijb,you sure one hell a place -,- i miisssseedd HOME! I miss mama! I miss mama punye cookkk! Makanan kat sini tk sedapp langsung okayyy. erhhh. mcm ape je. Thought graphic senang bt it is actually tough nak mati ahh. drawing drawing and drawing non stop. boleh mereng otak gua. bdw,i happy kat sini,i have my Bushukk. i have my friendss to support me here. My new friends is Fatin Nur Fatini aka Tini aka Twinss. Muke i same lah kot -,- NOT! Hahaha abit lah i guess. She's crazy mcm i jugakk. ohh yeahh i upload gmbr die later on okay. now i kat cc,for the first time in my life online in cc. HAHA believe it or not thats the truth. I happy kat sini,sedar tak sedar i dh a month kat sini. AND hell yeahhhh i miss my old life faking much!I have Balqis,Arina,Firdaus and etc. Hehe. So yeahh. 

Thanks B for the support! Without you memang i cant live kat sini. I Looooove You Gilababi ok. Cant believe im here in JB with you,same place studying. Thanks for fading that lonely and scaredy cat feeling of mine. Alright! I gotta go,its lightning here,nak hujan. Off to hostel. OPS! Nak beli mkanan utk berbuke pose dlu ye kat bazar. 

HAPPY FASTING TO ALL MUSLIMS!

ESPECIALLY TO MY FAMILY,B AND BFF'S!

LOVE YOU GUYS! 

Wait up for more detail stories of mine. Toddlyyyss!

HAPPY 1ST MONTH ANNIVERSARRY B!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE THAT YOU GAVE ME!

LOVEMISS YOU!

THANK YOU FOR BEING BY MY SIDE EVERY SINGLE TIME I NEED YOU BADLY!

I'LL BE BY YOUR SIDE TIL MY LAST BREATH!

I'LL BE YOUR EVERYTHING!

Why is this happening to me. I was Happy and couldnt wait no more to meet you,to face my first time college life with you but you're not with me. Things just doesnt seems right. Tomorrow i'll be going to Johor Bahru and i was freaking happy but then things happen without knowing it would actually happen. Why?! Godamnit! 

Yeah,kaki Amirul patah,from buku lali til lutut dah ciment =,= ergh. Sebab? MAIN FUTSAL!

Baru masuk seminggu dah carik pasal,swear sakithatilahh.

And die kene balik rumah this monday,which the date i bru daftar masuk situ. Dia kene smbung Semester2. Oh god! Im sooo sad and tears mcm nk rundown through my face. Damit lahh! But,things dh happen,so nothing should be blamed about. I just don know how would i face my life there without him. This is first time i stay jauh dgn family i and i admit,kinda pampered -,- so its hard for me to face the day there without you. Its Johor lahh -,- saye bru masuk awak pulak balik kl kaaan, How bad could it be? I have the strength to go there just sebab awak ade dgn saye if not,memang takkan saye msuk study kat situ. Omagod! How am i going to face my first semester without you? Serious i am so sad right now. Couldnt imagine how sad i am now okay. Ergh. 

Saye ingt awk mainmain but then..yeah,you're actually serious about it. I dont know what to do and what to say to you. Im speechless on what just happen. Saye just harap awak cepat sembuh. About me being there in Johor,idk but i can still manage to say this Two Words

OMG! I am so THANKFUL to GOD for granting my wish. I never really expect that this would happen. And yeah,im freaking HAPPY:) Its like a LIFETIME DREAM. I was still shocked about the news. Damit! Ehehe:) Well,ape yang i nak bagitahu is..

I Will Be Continuing Study Next Week! Instead of waiting for 5months,i was promoted to go for intake July! Dangg! Ngeee:) Im happy oh yeah i really am eventhough i was sorta kinda Clumsy right now -,- sebab? Tak Pack Anything lagi ok! Ahaha. I need to go shopping and buy stuff and all. I still got one week left so yeah -,- i ni prempuan and banyak songeh pulak tu so seminggu for me is like tak cukup okay. 

Bf i bru sampai Johor Bahru,so die tgah pusing pusing tgok Politeknik Premier tu kat tang mane. Die daftar esok but i lewat seminggu than him. And even die pun macam Hyper tak tentu pasal bila dia tahu i was going next week. Mcm org tak siuman menjerit dlm tepon =,= anyway,Jauuuuhhh kaaan? Johor Bahru Pasir Gudang. Gila! 8hours from Ipoh baby! Gila sakit bontot. 

So,itulah i need to tell you bloggers and stalkers and suchaa whateverso pun. I happy okay. So i bantu Bumi ni Happy jugak -,- ceh takde kene mengene kan. Haha tah ape ape je. Well,tu lah die. So i nak start shopping olredi. So see yah! And i would definitely be rarely updating my blog bila i dah start studying but anything,i'll try to catch up my life with you guys. Ok Toddles!

This is what i want to do with you Everyday:)

But waiting the time to come and do all this just too long for me:/

I dont know if i can hold on and be far apart from you.

I missed you every single day.

I need you by my side.

Aku ni sikit sikit nak Pasrah kan? -,- HAHA

But serious hell lah memang aku rindu bf aku.

Haiyaa,Patience Syamira.

5months je lagi.

Missed Awak Banyakbanyak!

Could you tell that i was hurt? Invisible tears got me feeling like dirt. You dumped me,you cheated on me,you let me go because i wasnt the best for you right? Yeah i remembered evrything that you said before. As my heart brokes,it took A YEAR for me to heal it. To pick up the broken pieces to put it back together. I hurt much,too much in love. Im afraid to fall in love again.I gave you too much chances til i cant even count it.I kept saying to myself 'just hold on,he'll change' but the fact is,as im giving you the chances,i hurt myself,soo fucking badly. Im afraid of loosing you so im willing myself to get hurt by you. What a pathetic i am. Yeah this is why people say love is blind. Ergh. Atlast finally i realize actually you're not worth it. You dont deserve me. I deserve someone better which is more loyal and faithfull. Its not me that are not the best for you BUT its you that are not the best for me. Anyway,thank you for the past life and memories. I appreciate. Eventhough i hate you but still i think ONCED before,you gave me happiness and perhaps a 'true' love. So yeah i appreciate that and what you did for me before. Really i do. BUT..

Yeah baby! FUCK YOU ASSHOLE! For? As before i forgiven your mistakes and all. Now,i really FUCKING cant accept that you're actually trying to ruined my life now. Wadeehell! Before,you left me alone without nothing to hold on to. I was afraid and fucking confused what have i done wrong to you. But now,when i finally get over it and manage my life now,you're actually trying to ruined it. What-The-Fuck! As you know i have Amirul Asyraf which is the person you hate the most from the very beginning,you want to ruined the love i have. You cant barely see im with him because you hate him to have me. Do i look like i care bitch? You talk bad about him to me,you talk shit about him to me,i never care because i know the fact is HE IS NOT A MORON LIKE YOU. He knows evrything but,he never care as long as i know the truth about him. The truth that he actually loves me more than anyone else. What are you trying to do? You yearn for me as you let me go a year before? You want me back as now i have even better life than before. Sorry,you know its too late,the love that we onced own before is no longer in my heart. As you shattered and broke its,the love is no longer there. I cant let myself drowned into your lies and untrue love. Stop to say the word Sorry all over again,because its already too late for that. Just let me go like you did before. I dont need you anymore. I have my own life and i know you do too. Evryone does. Find someone else that suits you. I love him,not you anymore. Its too late,for everything between us. 

I Am Truly Deeply Unconditionally In Love With You

Mohd Amirul Asyraf Mohd Yusoff

p/s:love you muchoo!

♥Syamira xx

Baby baby baby please dont gooo :'/ Im soo gonna Miss you freaking muchoo B. Since we met for 2days,it is more difficult for me to face the day as evrything in my eyes i see only you. In every vision of life i see you,yes You.I miss holding your hand,I miss seeing your laugh,I miss your kiss,I miss your hug. I Miss Everything About You. Yeah,last night,we've said to take care of each other and Never Ever Let Go.As i love you so much,i would never break your heart,i would never ever leave you alone.B nak kite kekal sampai bila bila kaaan,same jugak dgan sayang.Awak tak nak saye sedih,same jugak dengan saye.I cant barely see you hurt,especially because of Me.Im happy to have a boyfriend like you.You're my best friend,you're my enemy,you're someone im jealous of,you're my happiness,you're my pillow. You are Everything to me. I Love You ♥

OMG! I Missed You already :/ I felt so fucking lonely okay. I just wished that you would be next to me every single breath that i take. I need you closed to me to face the day. I cant barely hold the loneliness. *pdahal bru jumpe 2hari lepas =,= gedik lebih pulak aku ni kan. HAHA! But serious fucking shit lah memang RINDU gilaa kat awak! Grr! Thanks! Thanks! And Thanks! Sebab sanggup dtg Ipoh just to meet me and hoojyeah have a great funny holidayss :D I missed the moment when I hugged you the first time i saw you :'/ I missed the moment when our eyes meet each other. I can see clearly that you really love me. And you know what,saye buka hati saye untuk terima orang yang sayang saye dari saye sayang org itu.And i never thought yang saye akan sayang awak gila babi mcm ni woh. Awak jumpe bomoh mane lah kan sampai saye jadi tergila gila kat awak kaaan.

I missed every single time that we spent 2days ago. I damn appreciate what you did for me honey. Thanks B! <3 Now saye takkan curang dah okay. Sebab saye yakin yang YOURE THE ONE! Missed holding tangan B yang lembut mcm baby tu. Hahaha :D Missed pukul pukul awak AND most of all,Missed your kiss on my forehead :'/ OMG! Ive gone crazy! Haha.

Well,if dulu saye boleh tunggu awak selame 5bulan. *time kite bercinta kaaan:) so why not saye tggu awk lagi 5bulan.I surely will miss and worried more about you when you continue study there baby.Its seriously a sacrification.Tak ape,5bulan je.HAHA! *5bulan mcm 5tahun wohhhh -,- hmm,anything,I just want you to know that I Love You F Muchoooo! <3 Wait for me and of course I'll wait for you. I will always be :') Sabar lah Syamira,5bulan je lagi then you'll be with him for 3years longer. Jemukaaan? Hahaha gurau! 

I just wished you could always be next to me so that i can feel your love closed to me:)

Love You B xx

And you simply fucking know it.. So, please handle my heart with fucking care. 

Please and thank you ♥

OMG! Lame kaaaan i tk update blog. HAHA! Been busy lately. Ehehe. Mcm mcm kene buat. Bdw! I got IMPORTANT news. Well its important to me:) 

DECLARED OLREDI! <3 Ehehe. Yeayyyyyy Im Fucking Damn Happy!

Its on 22nd June at 2:15pm. At The Lost World Of Tambun. Romantic? No -,- It Funny. Bahaha.

Wann Syamira Meor & Mohd Amirul Asyraf Yusoff was DECLARED as COUPLE now.

                 

Yeah OFFICIALLY BABYY!

Well,its been great times eventhough its just awhile i get to hang out with him and his friends. Omagod! I was like fucking LOVE you kot. HAHA! Well,anything..i hope things went well:) 

p/s: I Love You,B. <3

Weird day

=.='

freaking boredom and yeahh its sooo tooo weird.My day wasn't the same like before anymore.i dont know what to write actually but the feelings i felt now is too weird.we didnt text and call like we used to.yeahh he LEAVES ME ALONE..he left me alone here without text and call anymore.its freaking hurt..well yeah..i understand,i completely understand and accept it fully with my heart.why? omg why??!! im so sad..

Do you really have to leave me and go off to work? =,='

whud? haha. yeahh he leaves me and off to work.He just started working as a promoter at the klcc.A shoes promoter.HAHA! :D its so funny..well he just work for the past 2days and i already felt weird and aloneee.i understand but he still call me late in the night and said he missed me and blablabla..jiwang karat kan die ni? memang pun =,= malam malam bute nak bermanje manje plak.pity pocoyo i kene work.im sure its tiring and stuff but he just want to have experienced working so its cool.Me je yang tak koje koje lagi ni.err -,-' spoil kid? nope..tapi malas nak kerja.hikhik..

well i have to get used to not texting him like before ( 24/7 texting =,=' ) its hard but im sure i can hold on to it.plus he finishes his work at 10:00 pm.i didnt text him so he can have a rest.sometimes no time nak text and call and stuff..In the morning he used to call me but paham paham le..i ni susah gilaaaaaaaaaa bangun pagi so i didnt realize that he called me.i used to wake up at 10:30 so at that time die dah off to work.

Pengorbanan? lebih kurang laa..haha

p/s: sayang,kalau i curang jgan marah eh? hehe :)